Fairing

Since waterboarding is no longer an acceptable method of torture for the US to get detainees to talk, I would suggest that they consider boat fairing. They could simply line up a bunch of boats, hand the detainee a sanding block, and have them start fairing--with the understanding that they can stop at any time they decide to start sharing their secrets. Believe me, they will talk.

As I was fairing the boat this weekend I found myself thinking, "How could I describe this activity to someone who has never done it?" Here's what I came up with:

Imagine you are driving down a highway; let's say Interstate 40 in North Carolina. But you aren't on the part of 40 at the coast that goes over the Cape Fear River and cypress wetlands, nor are you driving through the stretch in the mountains that snakes up hill through hardwood forests. No, you are driving on that stretch of 40 just east of Smtihfield where there is nothing but flat, manure-covered fields with a few short pine trees scattered about. Regarding the scenery, think Kinston, NC.

Okay, so you start off driving along this highway at mile marker 214. You keep driving, and keep driving, and keep driving...for 6 straight hours. The scenery is still just about exactly the same, and a mile marker finally comes into view. Once you are able to focus on it you see that it reads, "Mile 216."

"What?!! How in the hell have I only traveled 2 miles?" It is at this moment that you realize that your entire body is completely covered in fiberglass.

That's what boat fairing is like.

Here's a picture of the boat after 16 hours of fairing.